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June 2017

Monthly Archives

Date Posted: June 23, 2017
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Dear Mr. President, Pregnancy is not contagious.

I like Tanzania’s President, John Pombe Magufuli. Mostly his corruption free style that puts things in order.

His family- the first lady- was even admitted in a public hospital- the equivalent of Kenyatta National Hospital. Wait, when was the last time we heard of a Kenyan public figure hospitalized in KNH? But that’s beside the point of this post.

Among his commendable achievements is abolishing school fees for secondary levels of education in 2015, a move that has increased school enrollment in the country. Free primary education which was implemented earlier, caused a jump in the net enrollment rate  from 59% in 2000 to 94% in 2011.

Magufuli is now of the opinion that once girls get pregnant, they should not be allowed back in school. That ‘parents’ should not be allowed to mix with school children who are serious about learning. He says that they would encourage others to follow suit in getting pregnant.

Let me simplify that. There’s a Swahili proverb that says, ‘Nazi mbovu, harabu ya nzima’- a bad coconut spoils the rest. The problem is that the one who bears the evidence of having sex, is the girl. If a girl is pregnant, either a fellow student, teacher or other male individual made her pregnant.

The ones who will be on the receiving end of his patriarchal policy would be the ones left with evidence of teenage sex. Punishing girls who get pregnant while in school will only lead to reducing the status of women and girls, when we all African countries are striving to attain the Sustainable Development Goals.

Speaking of SDG’s, he blames NGO’s for introducing foreign norms to Africa, and encouraging school children to be sexually active. He even asks NGOs to open schools for young mothers.

Mr. President, this amounts to marginalization of the girl child, considering that a girl who gets pregnant at a young age is already disadvantaged. According to WHO, many girls who become pregnant have to drop out of school. A girl with little or no education has fewer skills and opportunities to find a job.

Watch the video of his address to the public on this issue.

We would like to hear your sentiments on this matter. Do you agree with the Tanzanian president? Let’s engage in the comments.

Date Posted: June 11, 2017
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Keeping your veges always interesting

By Evans M Sifa.

Eating can be viewed as an art of food combinations that speak to the tastes,body and mind ~Unknown

Did you know that taste is the biggest determining factor in what kind of food people are most likely to buy?

Wether it’s that creamy white cake or that mayo dripping salad to the cheese,onion topped pizza or your daily home-cooked ugali with tasty greens and fried meat, all this happens deep in your unconscious mind when selecting foods to buy.

In our daily life where busy is mostly all there is, healthy eating and taste isn’t in any of our thought agenda no matter the drive to keep fit and maintain a healthy lifestyle. Then why not re-invent the taste of your ‘standard’ recipe by following these easy few healthy cooking & eating tips I personally vouch for that give taste an edge no matter the occasion or budget?

A healthy eating style is most often defined  by the moderation,combination, cooking technique and flavor of healthy foods.

Staple food doesn’t need to always taste the same – especially during dinner.

Health foods get a bad reputation for being bland and sometimes downright unpalatable. From sweet potatoes, pumpkin to ‘githeri’. But there are nutrition boosting ways to satisfy your sweet, spicy, and savory cravings. Seriously, you don’t have to choke down boiled greens and unevenly cooked ugali or that blunt tasting bean stew while justifying the health benefits of tasteless food.

i. The next time you cook that ugali, add a little butter (half a tea spoon) and a pinch of table salt to bring out the earthy taste of ugali to your liking.

ii. Loathe the white looking Cabbages or the plain taste of your usual skuma wiki (kales?) or traditional vegetables? Greens go well with almost any natural spice, ginger, garlic …etc. Just play around with different spices that you use for big day occasions in the kitchen for that ordinary or low budget dinner.

And who said greens need to be chopped into pasta like streams in order to eat? We have been doing things we found people doing; which includes cutting greens. It could be a trip for your taste buds to cut the greens in uneven order like salad, once in a while. Get to preserve the soft texture of the leaves like any other preparation technique in use while saving time and introduce a new way for texture of greens to your tongue. Think soft or hard, mushy or crunchy, or smooth or lumpy. Vegetables don’t have to feel the same.

Pssst! – It’ll get everyone even you hooked, looking forward to dinner time at the end of the day.

#NOTE: Greens need a mild stir to moderate cooking. Overcooking dulls the taste and the nutrients in them.

Date Posted: June 11, 2017
2 Comments

Making divorce less traumatic for your kids.

By Evans M Sifa.

One widely held view in this century and an often cited statistic is that one half of all marriages end in divorce.

It can be a hard time for any couple and an extra streneous emotional crisis especially if you have kids.  Most parents never know how to approach issues arising from divorce in regards to kids. And sadly this leaves their kids to be just another statistic in a pool of divorce related stories and experiences.

Living in a society where ‘honest talk’  about emotional and tabboo topics like divorce are shunned away from the dinner table, it is bound to greatly affect your kids in various ways, like wrong coping mechanisms from the divorce and deep haboured feelings that surface at a later date in their lives to state a few. It is as traumatizing for kids as well as it is for spouses going through such a process.

Parents can make a divorce less traumatic for their kids by following these four tried and successful tips from couples with divorce experience who have overcome it in light of parenting :

Tip #1:  Assure your kids that the divorce is not their fault

Children, especially young ones, have a tendency to blame themselves for the divorce. What a horrible burden to bear!  From you and your former spouse, they need to hear the following message over and over:

Some kids blame themselves for their parents getting a divorce.

                     It is not your fault. We love you.

 

Tip #2:  Avoid badmouthing your former spouse even in subtle ways.

As we all know, small ears hear more than big ones!

Kids need to know that it is okay to love both of you. Don’t place your child in a loyalty conflict by subtly suggesting that they should not love the other parent or have fun when they visit them. One father made this mistake in a very subtle yet damaging way. Each time he picked up the kids at his ex-wife’s, he would greet them with a worried look and ask nervously, “Are you guys okay? Did your visit go okay?”

It wasn’t long before the kids believed that they weren’t supposed to have an “okay” time at Mom’s house.

Oftentimes, these more subtle jabs are the most powerfully damaging.

Tip #3:  Don’t waste time and energy trying to “convert” your former spouse to your parenting style.

Some divorced parents waste precious time and energy fighting a never-ending control battle with their former spouse over how to parent the kids.

Children adjust to different parenting styles, as long as their parents aren’t manipulated into giving in or getting angry. When your kids say things like, “But Dad lets us,” experiment with saying the following while not backing down:

You’re pretty lucky to have two parents who are different. Thanks for letting me know.

Tip #4:   Don’t hesitate to seek qualified professional help.

Our children will never be healthier than we are. The trauma of divorce can result in major financial stress, lost friendships, depression, low self-esteem, anger, etc. A skilled therapist can help you and your kids move on to happier times, instead of getting bogged down in the pain.

One parent commented:

I never thought i’d end up divorced, and when my marriage ended i was devastated.

All i could think about were the news reports I’d seen about how messed up kids get       when their parents break up. Therapy taught me how to take care of myself so that i         could take care of my kids. It also taught me that the only thing i can really control is            myself and how i react… not how their dad does. That was ten years ago. I think my      kids are still a bit angry over what happened, but they’re doing well.

While divorce is certainly very difficult for kids, therapy offers easy-to-learn techniques that really work. Start building a happy future by getting started today.

Some of these tips have been borrowed from Charles Fay. Charles Fay, Ph.D. is a parent, author and consultant to schools, parent groups and mental health professionals around the world. His expertise in developing and teaching practical discipline strategies has been refined through work with severely disturbed youth in school, hospital and community settings. Charles has developed an acute understanding of the most challenging students.  Having   grown up through therapy, he also provides a unique and often humorous perspective.