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July 2017

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Relationships are fragile, handle them with care.

It doesn’t matter what your relationship status is. It doesn’t matter whether you’re in a relationship, single, engaged, in an open relationship or in a complicated one.

Whichever league you’re in, you’re going to have to go through certain relationships at some point. We go through relationships every day. Your relationships could range from romantic, business, neighbor, up to certain friendships.

There is no escape from coming across relationships, which is why it’s vital that you know how to handle relationships. If you don’t know how to manage your relationships then that’s going to drag you down in the process. So, let’s talk about how to deal with relationships.

It’s not easy to deal with relationships because dealing with them means that you have to deal with other people too. What makes this a dilemma is that people have different tastes. People have different ways of doing things.

It’s no wonder that misunderstandings are everywhere. Friends fight. Families separate. People break up. But the thing is there is a way to overcome our differences. It is by being aware of the other person’s needs. The problem is that people often forget the basics, which is exactly why we need to keep reminding them.

Show appreciation through words and gestures

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that you don’t appreciate the people around you. The thing is most of the time we are the only ones who know how much we care and appreciate a person. What we don’t know is that other people also desire the feeling of being appreciated. The more we let them have what they want, the more likely that we are going to build a healthy relationship with them.

Give relationships value regardless of longevity

Most people think that the longer a relationship is, the more valuable it is, but the thing is the value of a relationship has absolutely nothing to do with that. What makes a relationship valuable is that the people involved in the relationship value each other. Let me give you an example. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been married to your husband for five years already if all he does is punch you in the face whenever he’s drunk.

A valuable relationship is one that cares about the other party. It means that each one of you do the things you do because of love and not because of some other agenda.

Don’t take anyone for granted

This is exactly what I mean about relationships being valuable no matter how long or short-lived they are. At the end of the day, what really matters in the relationship are the good memories. With that, you shouldn’t take anyone for granted.

Relationships are all about giving value to each other. I’m talking about the kind of value that nobody other than you knows about. You have to care about your relationships and let your partner know you do. You don’t even have to tell it to them directly, but the least you can do is make them feel it.

Author Bio

Wade is an essayist at wedoessay.com He incorporates nature’s beauty in his writing. Besides excellence, he puts his lovely wife and two kids at the center of his craft. He is fond of physical contact sports and considers South America as a haven for tourists.

Lessons from rejection- Jack Ma

Rejection is never a positive word. No one wants to have a badge written reject. We all want the glamorous success at everything we do. Imagine getting rejected more than 40 times. Over the years, I have been someone who tries all avenues to better themselves. This means that I have been actively looking for opportunities to grow, financially, socially and intellectually.

To get these opportunities, you have to look for them or have someone recommend an opportunity that would benefit you. Not forgetting the job applications I have sent and interviews I have been called to. One common factor that has characterized these opportunities is rejection. In most of those applications, my email inbox is full of regret mail.

They read something like, “Due to the high number of applicants, we are sorry to tell you that you were not accepted”. Imagine trying to apply for a fellowship four years in a row and getting the same email. I am referring to Young African Leaders Initiative. Well, the very first one at least I was shortlisted and went for a face to face interview. Atlas Corps, rejected. The Moth storytelling workshop, rejected.

I don’t want to go into details of how many jobs I applied for and was called for interviews and that was it. After the interviews, I heard nothing from them. These are many. More than the fellowships and scholarships I have tried getting.

At some point, I started thinking I wasn’t good enough, there was no point trying or my favorite, ‘maybe people look at my disability and deny me opportunities thinking I am not up to the task’. The problem with such thinking is that you look externally for excuses rather than introspecting for self improvement.

What I later did was work hard to improve myself. Even the very fact that I am writing this post, means I am a work in progress, improving each day. You don’t get rejected all the time, sometimes you are really good at what you are doing and compel someone to give you a chance. People have given me chances.

The thing that spurred me to write this piece is watching the story of Jack Ma. The guy is more familiar with the word rejection than anyone else. He applied 10 times to get into Harvard and got rejected. Got rejected at 30 jobs. Tried getting to the police force and was told, ‘you’re no good’. He tried applying for a job at KFC, and was the only one who was rejected out of 24 people.

Today, Jack Ma is the richest man in China. He founded Alibaba in 1995, which is now the largest e-commerce platform. In his Forbes profile, his net worth is $35.5 B. What he learnt from rejection was that you have got to believe in your self, even if other people think your ideas are stupid.

Here is an interview of Jack Ma at Davos World Economic Forum, 2015.