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International Womens’ Day

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Date Posted: March 8, 2018
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I am a woman: Smiling often, but cry to gain strength

Featured image credit. While struggling with the reality of being a human instead of a myth, the strong black woman passed away. Medical sources say she died of natural causes, but those who knew her know she died from being silent when she should have been screaming, smiling when she should have been raging, from being sick and not wanting anyone to know because her pain might inconvenience them. She died from an overdose of other people clinging to her when she didn’t even have energy for herself. Credits: Merlyn Barnes

Memories sometimes flood back to remind us of the hurdles we have gone through. They remind us that we are emotional beings, and are not always the strong black woman stereotype that’s painted on the media. The false badge that black women often have to wear, yet they are dying slowly from the inside. Yes, that one.

The triggers could be anything, from reading a story, a movie, or a song. Some triggers may be meeting actual people from our past who make us relive our past. Lately I have had walks down memory lane, that came with meltdowns. That defines me as an emotional being.

Last week I had one such meltdown. Now, it is OK to have such moments. It’s also OK to remember your past, because we are all products of our past experiences. There is a difference between remembering our past and being thankful of the far we’ve come, and always moping about what could have been. The latter makes us lose sight of the process to greatness.

I am grateful for having mentors in my life who acknowledge my pain at such moments, but also make me see the bright side of things. I talked to one of my mentors and she painted the whole negative picture that could have been had things worked out the way I wanted them to. This raises the importance of friends in everyone’s life. We need to have and be reliable friends to help each other at our lowest points.

Today as we celebrate yet another International Women’s Day, my thoughts are:

  1.  We gain strength to move on with life from shedding a tear from time to time.
  2. True friends are never made uncomfortable by our low moments.
  3. Everyone needs a friend, a mentor and a confidant. (I have many women who I can give those titles.)
  4. It’s not always about ourselves, extend help to others. Be a friend, mentor and confidant to someone else. (It always comes back to you full circle.)
  5. Always talk about your happy times and low times, just make sure you talk to the right people who will never judge you.

Today as we #PressForProgress, let us shed off these negative stereotypes that only oppress us even more. Happy Women’s Day ladies.

Love,

Juls.

Date Posted: March 9, 2017
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The ‘Business Idea’ that was a surprise baby shower.

Synopsis is her favourite word at work, so her colleagues temporarily nick-named her unborn baby.

My sister is in her third trimester. Over the weekend, we held a suprise baby shower for her, that didn’t turn out as planned, yet was still a big surprise.

Planning a surprise is a hard task, if you already know how difficult it is to surprise a person who knows and openly vows that no one can surprise them. Her workmate approached me on Facebook and shared the idea that I had been toying with for a month- what were we doing in the days of no technology? God bless Zukerberg.

We formed a WhatsApp group in January and added close friends who contributed toward the big surprise. Each one was to buy a gift of their choice for the day.

The problem with groups that have people who have never met, is that sometimes it gets so quiet you can cut  through the thickness of the silence.

We had the challenge of holding on to our phones so that she doesn’t accidentally see the group. She got curious of why people were denying her access to their phones, but could not connect the dots. I even had to suggest that we change the name of the group to something other than ‘Sellah’s baby shower’, just to be on the safe side.

The successful ‘business idea’ that was full of laughter.

One brilliant colleague of hers changed the name to ‘Business Ideas’. This was so hilarious. Thinking of it later, I thought of what collaboration between ladies can result to. Something great.

Sunday March 5, 2017 was the planned day. I spent the night in her house, and woke up to tidy the house. She woke up an hour later and found me busy at work. She never suspected anything. We had someone to pick her and take her for a pedicure, while others sneak into her house to do the decorations and prepare the snacks.

She didn’t even spend thirty minutes at the pedicure place. She complained of how she was tired of sitting and wanted to go back to her house. She had to return without the pedicure.

When she entered her house, she wondered what the balloon was doing on her wall. Then went to her kitchen to find her colleagues busy at work. That was a surprise big enough. All along, she had been planning to do a home makeover before her maternity leave, because she was expecting her colleagues to visit her after the baby’s arrival.

I came back from church to light insults of how I was so stupid to have been part of the surprise planning.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy International Women’s day to all the new friends I made on Sunday. Happy Women’s day mama B. I hope you soon find a better name starting with a B for your last born other than Synopsis.