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The Importance of Talking to Your Children About Consent and Respect in Relationships

Discussing Consent and respect in relationships with children

Discussing Consent and respect in relationships with children. Photo: Pixabay

As parents, it’s our responsibility to equip our children with the knowledge and skills they need to navigate the world with confidence and respect. One of the most important lessons we can impart is the importance of consent and respect in relationships.

Consent is a fundamental principle in all forms of human interaction, but it’s particularly crucial in intimate relationships. It means that all parties involved have freely and enthusiastically agreed to engage in a particular activity. By teaching our children about consent, we are not only helping them build healthy relationships, but we’re also helping them understand the importance of respecting others and themselves.

The conversation about consent and respect in relationships should start early, and it should be ongoing. Here are some tips for talking to your children about these important topics:

Start the conversation early

Don’t wait until your child is a teenager to start talking about consent. The younger they are, the more they can internalize the concept and apply it in their relationships later in life.

Here’s an example of how you could start a conversation about consent and respect in relationships with children:

You: Hey kids, can we have a chat about something important? It’s about relationships and how we treat each other.

Kids: Sure! What is it about?

You: It’s about consent and respect. Have you heard those words before?

Kids: Yes, a little bit.

You: Great! So, consent means that everyone in a relationship has the right to say yes or no to physical touch or other activities. It’s important to always ask for and respect someone’s decision.

And respect means treating others the way we want to be treated, with kindness and understanding. In a relationship, this means listening to each other, being honest, and supporting each other.

It’s important to understand and practice these things now, so that you can have healthy relationships in the future. Do you have any questions or anything you’d like to add?

By having this conversation, you can lay the foundation for children to understand the importance of consent and respect in relationships, and empower them to make informed decisions in their own relationships in the future.

Use age-appropriate language

Make sure your language is appropriate for your child’s age and developmental stage. For younger children, you might use simple language and analogies to help them understand the concept of consent.

When speaking to kids about relationships, it’s important to use language that is appropriate for their age and level of understanding. Here’s an example of age-appropriate language when talking to kids about relationships:

For younger kids (ages 5-7): “A relationship is when two people love each other and want to spend time together. Just like how you love your family and friends, people can love each other in a special way too.”

For older kids (ages 8-12): “A relationship is a special connection between two people who care about each other. It’s important to treat each other with kindness and respect, and to be honest and open with each other.”

It’s also important to emphasize the importance of healthy relationships, where both people feel happy and respected, and to discuss ways to identify and address any problems that may arise in a relationship.

Emphasize respect

Teach your children that respect is a cornerstone of all healthy relationships. Emphasize that consent and respect go hand in hand, and that respecting others’ boundaries is essential.

Discuss what healthy relationships look like

Help your children understand what a healthy relationship looks like by sharing examples and having open and honest conversations. Talk about what it means to listen to others, communicate effectively, and resolve conflicts in a respectful manner.

Use real-life scenarios

Use real-life scenarios to illustrate the importance of consent and respect in relationships. For example, you might talk about a time when someone didn’t respect your boundaries, or a time when you didn’t respect someone else’s.

Encourage open communication

Encourage your children to come to you with any questions or concerns they may have about relationships, sexuality, or any other topic. By fostering open communication, you can help them feel comfortable discussing these topics and seeking help when needed.

Lead by example

Children learn by example, so make sure you’re modeling healthy relationship behaviors in your own life. Demonstrate respect, active listening, and effective communication in your interactions with others.

By talking to your children about consent and respect in relationships, you’re helping to equip them with the tools they need to navigate the world with confidence and respect. Additionally, you’re helping to create a culture of consent, where all parties are treated with dignity and respect.

In conclusion, it’s never too early to start talking to your children about consent and respect in relationships. By starting the conversation early and using age-appropriate language, you can help them internalize these important concepts and build healthy relationships throughout their lives. Remember, the goal is to foster open and honest communication, emphasize respect, and lead by example. With your help and guidance, your children can grow into confident, respectful individuals who know how to navigate the world with grace and ease.

Relationships are fragile, handle them with care.

It doesn’t matter what your relationship status is. It doesn’t matter whether you’re in a relationship, single, engaged, in an open relationship or in a complicated one.

Whichever league you’re in, you’re going to have to go through certain relationships at some point. We go through relationships every day. Your relationships could range from romantic, business, neighbor, up to certain friendships.

There is no escape from coming across relationships, which is why it’s vital that you know how to handle relationships. If you don’t know how to manage your relationships then that’s going to drag you down in the process. So, let’s talk about how to deal with relationships.

It’s not easy to deal with relationships because dealing with them means that you have to deal with other people too. What makes this a dilemma is that people have different tastes. People have different ways of doing things.

It’s no wonder that misunderstandings are everywhere. Friends fight. Families separate. People break up. But the thing is there is a way to overcome our differences. It is by being aware of the other person’s needs. The problem is that people often forget the basics, which is exactly why we need to keep reminding them.

Show appreciation through words and gestures

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that you don’t appreciate the people around you. The thing is most of the time we are the only ones who know how much we care and appreciate a person. What we don’t know is that other people also desire the feeling of being appreciated. The more we let them have what they want, the more likely that we are going to build a healthy relationship with them.

Give relationships value regardless of longevity

Most people think that the longer a relationship is, the more valuable it is, but the thing is the value of a relationship has absolutely nothing to do with that. What makes a relationship valuable is that the people involved in the relationship value each other. Let me give you an example. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been married to your husband for five years already if all he does is punch you in the face whenever he’s drunk.

A valuable relationship is one that cares about the other party. It means that each one of you do the things you do because of love and not because of some other agenda.

Don’t take anyone for granted

This is exactly what I mean about relationships being valuable no matter how long or short-lived they are. At the end of the day, what really matters in the relationship are the good memories. With that, you shouldn’t take anyone for granted.

Relationships are all about giving value to each other. I’m talking about the kind of value that nobody other than you knows about. You have to care about your relationships and let your partner know you do. You don’t even have to tell it to them directly, but the least you can do is make them feel it.

Author Bio

Wade is an essayist at wedoessay.com He incorporates nature’s beauty in his writing. Besides excellence, he puts his lovely wife and two kids at the center of his craft. He is fond of physical contact sports and considers South America as a haven for tourists.

First Wedding Anniversary? Ways to make it Special.

By Jessica Brown

Time flies when you are happy. It feels as if only yesterday you made those vows and it’s already time to celebrate your first wedding anniversary. The credit goes to your spouse who made every day of the year special for both of you.

So, it is time for you to return all the affection by making the day special for him. Going by the traditions, it is the responsibility of men to surprise the lady and plan out the day for the first wedding anniversary. However, there is nothing wrong in bending the trend. Instead of expecting anything from him, confess your feeling with a special plan.

Listed below are some of the ways that can make the day memorable for both of you. Check them out and let the spark flying.

  1. Plan an exotic trip

The first honeymoon was planned and executed by your hubby. It is your turn now. Make an action plan and take him for your second honeymoon. This is a perfect way to celebrate the day if the anniversary is somewhere around the weekend. List out some exotic locations for honeymoon couples and finalize a place that is feasible for you. In case, if a getaway plan is not feasible for you, then you can book an over-night resort. Spend an exotic night at some enticing place.

  1. Relive your first date

This is one of the most romantic ways to reflect on the beautiful memories of the past. Recreate the scenario of your first date. Take him to the place where you first met or plan a dinner at the restaurant where you had your fist dinner together. Trip down the memory lane can make any occasion special.

  1. Throw a surprise party

I know this can be tricky. There is a possibility that he is planning the same for you. So, talk to his friends and make sure that he is not doing the same. Start preparing for the party only when you are sure about it. Take the help of your family and friends and plan out a get-together. You need not plan anything grand. Just invite your close ones and have a blast together. The presence of your loved ones will add more fun to the event.

  1. Gifts

Presents? It goes without saying. No matter what you plan for the day, gifts are a must-have. Make sure that you give something that is useful. So that, he is able to keep it with him all day long. When it comes to shopping for men, gadgets are the safest option.

  1. Spend some quality time together

This is something that your man will definitely love. Instead of going out or inviting your friends over, spend some time alone at home. You can set a candle light dinner at your place. Decorate the place with flowers and candles. Prepare his favorite food and rejuvenate your intimate affairs. Dress up like it’s your first date. Wear something that he loves. Remember to keep the makeup subtle and simple. You can spruce up your look with a trendy ombre clip in hair extension. This will give you an effortless jazzy look.

He must have confessed his love loud and clear many times before. Take this opportunity and tell him the importance he holds in your life. Be thoughtful and plan something different. Happy wedding anniversary!

Author Bio:-  I’m Jessica Brown, a writer by passion. I’ve years of experience in writing for women fashion and lifestyle. With a keen interest in hair styles, hair care, styling tips and hair extensions and color, I like to add value to the readers with my ideas.

Beauty for Ashes: Edith Fortunate’s triumph over GBV

Edith Fortunate

This is an issue I hold rather private but I decided to share to encourage those locked in dens of hell. It’s a chapter of my life I have opened up for you to read, learn, get encouraged or perhaps encourage someone.

Pain makes you stronger, in this case it has. But I am now healed totally.

Most of the time I pray for wisdom more than anything else especially where relationships are concerned. The heartbreaking story in the Daily Nation of a woman whose hands were chopped off by her husband made me realize that we take life for granted. Life is to be lived and enjoyed to the fullest, the way I do it! 😊😊😊😊.

I had to consult my family and friends on sharing this story. It was a difficult season that one. They thought, why not if it will help someone.

I was a victim of domestic violence, actually I was laughing at my former situation with a bff of mine while telling him that getting married when I did was the biggest scam of my life.

I got married to my puppy love. I am that child whose life had been structured in that sense. And all was bliss or so I thought. I chose to settle with the 30% I liked about him and cared zilch of the 70% he didn’t have. He was the air I breathed, the one I lived for, the one who stopped any sense including common sense in my life but I soldiered on, I was in love. Verily and nothing or no one could stop me from loving him. Not even the punches I got from him! And every time he raised his hand to hit me (forget the education I have, where love is concerned education flies out of the window), I interpreted that as love.

The more he hit me, the more excuses I made for him amongst my friends, family and relatives. He swore that if I left him, he will ensure no man ever has me..😅😅😅😅..gotta be the funniest thing ever.

I was the best wife, I mean, I woke up early to make his breakfast, I would cook his dinner too, I made sure we didn’t sleep angry. I find holding grudges, a very big job and sometimes I would gift him even after a kichapo. (Beating). like two days after a fight, I would spot a nice watch or shirt, expensive for that matter and I would buy it for him (saitan was in the making yaani!)

And I somewhat imagined I was the best wife he could ever have, yaani I was the one (sema confidence 101, this got me laughing.) I knew he wouldn’t be OK if I left him, I believe he still is OK, and breathing well.

But I stayed on, prayed everyday, bruised my knees hoping and praying that he would change…it became worse… I stayed on for my babies, I stayed on to carry the Mrs title, I stayed on to look perfect to society, I stayed on just for what I now term as stupidity sake! I couldn’t leave, it’s like I had been domiciled there for life.

Any time I packed my bags to leave, I always found a perfect reason to stay, I would stay on despite having head injuries (I had invented a way of wearing my headscarves to the office to hide injuries) as a result of the thunder reigned on me. I even got myself sunglasses to wear during the black eye days! I had a curfew I had to be home at 6 pm, he even had a dress code for me (never mind I had an independent life before we got married) and well he somewhat had control of my phone.

Fast forward; we had a minor argument–my best response ever to petty arguments is silence and I normally move on so fast. He was irked by my lack of response, it was a Saturday- my stress free, sleep free day. I wasn’t going to let someone ruin it with their petty talk.

Shock! Dude unleashed a pliers, those plumbing pliers and before I could comprehend what was happening he had hit me on my mouth, actually my teeth, I was bleeding, shouting and confused, my upper front teeth fell off and as I was still composing myself, he got a knife (he had pulled this before) and was just about to stab me. Luckily, my house-girl swung into action and I was able to escape.

That’s the day I woke up from slumber, from the spell that had been cast on me and into reality. I loved someone who didn’t even love me back. I fought for a marriage which didn’t even have a foundation, I was just there being a housemate, sex partner and punching bag to someone who didn’t have the same thoughts and feelings in him.

Yes, I love you dude but we gotta love me first. It has to be me first then other people next, love thy neighbor as thyself. I was no longer the hot Edith who left her parents home but something else, my market rate value deprecated but I was keen on working on me.

I left, I called it quits! It was the most difficult time, how could I be alone, I wasted my 5 years, I was lying to myself all this time. I keep saying God’s grace is sufficient, it certainly is. Many years down the line I can assure you that I am better off alone now and despite the single mum tag (which I care zilch about) life has been fair, of course there have been unfair situations but who said life should be a straight graph. I drew some inner strength that has pulled me through.

I started all over again, from zero but I am making it. (I teared while writing this, it was tough.)

This is to those suffering in marriages and hoping that things will change. Let them change while you are a distance away. So, we say I am staying for the children. When you are killed who will look after the children? When you are rendered into disability who will support you? Wisdom is very key in marriages.

This is also to the young girls who are just about to get married, if you find a man who has 20% what you like, ask yourself if you can live without the 80%. They hardly change. Walk into that marriage knowing that the 80% won’t be achieved anytime soon.

And this is to tell you that there are good men out there. Just pick and choose what you can live with. After my drama, I have come across good men, of course most haven’t met my standards but they are good.

Some are just there to waste your time, others to be with you for who you are. But still pick and choose what you can live with.

Sometimes I get the “why are you keen on that guy and he is not your caliber?” I don’t know how friends rate caliber but I settle for character. A good character is the epitome of anything in life add discipline and honesty. I will settle for a man with character whether they are my height, lean like me, than a tall, dark handsome 30 percent fellow.

Let’s not jump into marriage because we are aging, don’t say I am 25 or 30 and there is no husband in sight. Let a proper person find you, psychos are mushrooming by the day. Let’s not do it because you have dated for so long, let’s not do it because it’s a way of life. Let’s do it because we can’t live without the other person and everyday of your life you won’t regret waking up besides them.

I am wiser now and my divine original, the one God has kept for me will have a partner, best friend and critic who will compliment him. I am there to provide energy for him to be who he is and fulfill God’s purpose for us in life.

Me and my 30 something self, experienced all these to the extent I said I will never love again or I will never get married again. You however learn from your mistakes and decide to give an able person who can carry you as you ought to be carried a chance.

Heck! Now I am ready to love again, dance again, have fun and play!

The victim in me is now healed, I worked on me. And by the way, that experience didn’t stop me from achieving what I want or being who I am,. In fact, it made me go after my dreams faster than before.

And the bible says: ‘This third I will put into the fire; I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, ‘They are my people,’ and they will say, ‘The LORD is our God.’

Beauty for ashes!

Yours,

Edith

This post originally was made on Facebook and has been republished here with permission from the author.

6 Betrayed lover Songs by male artistes

Music is a language that transcends generations. Musicians have been composing songs to communicate different emotions. We went on a search of songs by male artistes communicating emotions of the betrayed male lover. Here is the list we came up with:

    1. In my bed by Dru Hill

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Ixip0K2r10&w=420&h=315]

2. Stutter by Joe

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eODhO-sA9aQ&w=420&h=315]

3. I don’t ever wanna see you again by Uncle Sam

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWasrUYMHgo]

4.Coming Home by Sauti Sol

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dhq46syzJI4&w=560&h=315]

5. Nataka Kulewa by Diamond Platinumz

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcnYJom4DBc&w=560&h=315]
6. Down Low by R. Kelly

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXdu3pwT4ps&w=560&h=315]

Breathe, think before posting: Relationships on social media

Credit: i.huffpost.com

Credit: i.huffpost.com

A few weeks ago, a German man dumped his Kenyan wife on Facebook. It caught media attention because a good journalist must have a nose to smell news.

Now, the people who we love have the greatest potential of hurting us. We being human, have every right to get mad. This act was understandable, under the circumstances which he was claiming. She stole from him, he had every right to be angry.

Though women are known for spilling their guts on social media, it is not only a preserve of the female species anymore.

GEORG1

He has deleted the social media post that read,  “All friends note. After the unfortunate incidents in recent weeks, caused by the unlawful conduct before my wife Eva Karwitha, I hereby give official separation from her known. From now on, I take no liability for all her financial or other transactions. I wish her all the best for the future. But please, do not come back.”

Apparently after negatively exposing his wife on social media, spilling on to the mainstream media, they have made up. “I am very happy to be back with Eva, you can call and talk to her. About more details of our reconciliation, I choose not to comment for now”, said George, according to Citizen Digital.

It is clear that social media is a powerful tool that can help you connect with friends. It also is not a place to post things in the heat of anger. Couples fight every time. They break up and make up. So it probably would save you  a lot of public humiliation if you just stay away from social media during the time of your anger. That’s my two cents.