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Date Posted: March 8, 2018
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I am a woman: Smiling often, but cry to gain strength

Featured image credit. While struggling with the reality of being a human instead of a myth, the strong black woman passed away. Medical sources say she died of natural causes, but those who knew her know she died from being silent when she should have been screaming, smiling when she should have been raging, from being sick and not wanting anyone to know because her pain might inconvenience them. She died from an overdose of other people clinging to her when she didn’t even have energy for herself. Credits: Merlyn Barnes

Memories sometimes flood back to remind us of the hurdles we have gone through. They remind us that we are emotional beings, and are not always the strong black woman stereotype that’s painted on the media. The false badge that black women often have to wear, yet they are dying slowly from the inside. Yes, that one.

The triggers could be anything, from reading a story, a movie, or a song. Some triggers may be meeting actual people from our past who make us relive our past. Lately I have had walks down memory lane, that came with meltdowns. That defines me as an emotional being.

Last week I had one such meltdown. Now, it is OK to have such moments. It’s also OK to remember your past, because we are all products of our past experiences. There is a difference between remembering our past and being thankful of the far we’ve come, and always moping about what could have been. The latter makes us lose sight of the process to greatness.

I am grateful for having mentors in my life who acknowledge my pain at such moments, but also make me see the bright side of things. I talked to one of my mentors and she painted the whole negative picture that could have been had things worked out the way I wanted them to. This raises the importance of friends in everyone’s life. We need to have and be reliable friends to help each other at our lowest points.

Today as we celebrate yet another International Women’s Day, my thoughts are:

  1.  We gain strength to move on with life from shedding a tear from time to time.
  2. True friends are never made uncomfortable by our low moments.
  3. Everyone needs a friend, a mentor and a confidant. (I have many women who I can give those titles.)
  4. It’s not always about ourselves, extend help to others. Be a friend, mentor and confidant to someone else. (It always comes back to you full circle.)
  5. Always talk about your happy times and low times, just make sure you talk to the right people who will never judge you.

Today as we #PressForProgress, let us shed off these negative stereotypes that only oppress us even more. Happy Women’s Day ladies.

Love,

Juls.

Date Posted: January 5, 2018
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Role of play at the workplace

I once shared a template of a study timetable on social media. One of my colleagues noticed that it had all things covered; you know… study time, homework, and eating time, snack time even sleep time. My colleague asked where play time was. I jokingly answered that we were smart kids who had no time for play, something which sparked a long conversation about the importance of play to not only kids but also adults.

If you have been following us online, you would know that we are a relatively playful organization so to speak. We take the saying that all work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy quite literally in every sense. Thanks to our operations department, we have team activities weaved in our work calendar all the time. You must have seen the team building activities, the thank Ops it’s Friday and the recent one being the five day long team retreat at the Kenyan Coast.

During these activities, team members are just as serious at playing as they usually are at hitting their KPIs. (Keeping over 2 Million learners happy requires that team members work hard to achieve a coherent goal. In other words, systems thinking, this is a whole topic for a future post.)

Importance of play

Studies have proven that play creates a conducive environment for creativity. This is why companies like LEGO® SERIOUS PLAY® have developed innovative process designed to enhance innovation and business performance. Any form of play in the workplace, be it board games, simple ice-breakers, role plays and many more, are a way to encourage creativity.

 

We cannot highlight creativity and leave out problem solving skills. Any form of play improves the players’ problem solving skills. These are soft skills that people can only learn while working as a group. I believe this is why we always have an ice-breaker at the start of every meeting. They make people to think on their toes about what a specific scenario in the shortest time possible.

Most forms of play encourage teamwork and leadership. When you give a junior team member a leading role in a playing team, it encourages them to take initiative even in their daily work. It is a way of breaking barriers caused by the ranks that exist in an organization.

Ever seen how kids are free with their imagination during play? This is why it is important for us to stop and play from time to time so as to allow ourselves to explore our creative reserves. Everyone no matter their role is a creative being. Play also stretches your brain and enhances your IQ.

In conclusion, whether it is that workout, meditation, learning a new skill, or playing a new musical instrument; it is important to know that it is not a waste of time. Play comes in different forms, all geared toward developing a wholesome individual and a more productive team.

Date Posted: January 1, 2018
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2017 goals in review: Start afraid, but always start.

 

Happy 2018 folks. I have learnt major lessons in the past year. One of them is avoiding much talk of goals. When you talk about something a lot, rather than writing it down and laying a plan, you jinx yourself. Nah! Truth is, you get comfortable by the affirmations you get and forget to put in the real work.

Last year I had goals that I saw materialize. Top of the list was building my parents a rural home. It might not be the best of homes, but at least we have somewhere to call home. It also has running water. My 2017 new year post on Facebook, is evidence that you just have to step out in faith.

The one resolution that still captures my imagination is personal fitness. My right hand kept on wasting because I rarely use it. Surprisingly, I have gotten so used to it that I don’t see it as a big deal. Someone pointed out that I was getting worse by not attending physio therapy sessions. You see, physio is a long term process that I have been on and off several times. I went back for sessions due to the push from a caring friend. People need friends like these who will not just praise you but spur you to personal improvement. (Though sometimes I didn’t like you much). Thank you friend, you know yourself.

My first ever swimming lesson was in class six, and I did not like the lesson. We would be forced to jump into the pool without any training, swallow as much water as possible, and learn how to swim on your own. So traumatic. So much for public schools that had swimming pools. Ours was among the first ones in Eastlands, Nairobi.

Fast forward in 2010, when I went for my baptism at Nyayo Stadium, a group of paraplegic swimmers offered to train me for free. They wanted me to join the Kenyan paraplegic swimming team.  Then I was busy with classes in uni. Again, Nah! If you really want something, you will make tome for it. (Just that way, a chance at greatness passed me by).

I finally had to pay for swimming lessons in 2017 and finished  the lessons. I can now say that I know how to swim. Of surprise is that since I started swimming, my weight has been increasing. I was stuck at 55 Kg and below no matter what I ate. Is that a good thing? It’s a good thing because I started developing muscles.

Swimming lessons

How can I forget my maiden trip to the Coast. We had a staff retreat which was memorable thanks to my swimming skills. Thanks coach Peter, for being patient with me. I couldn’t have done it alone.

I also read more books and had lots of coffee dates by myself. I needed those to recharge. (Introverts will understand this better).

In conclusion, every castle started with a dream. Believe in those dreams enough to chase them. Always have a notebook to jot down your wildest dreams, no matter how stupid they seem. You never know when you will get the chance to implement it. Have a happy writing year.

Habakkuk 2:2 “Record the vision And inscribe it on tablets, That the one who reads it may run”.

Date Posted: August 12, 2017
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The joke is on us Kenyans

Featured image courtesy.

I still hear the gunshots in Kawangware. I live next to Kawangware, my hood is inhabited mostly by people of a different tribe than I am. Maybe that’s the reason there are no protests. Just because I am safe in the house doesn’t mean all is well. One thing I ask Kenyans, must lives be lost every election year? Some of those considered as ‘collateral damage’ are children who did not even line up to vote.

The leaders who people are supposedly ‘dying’ for are now silent. What happened to the right to picket? The government seems to have turned a blind eye on the killings. I keep forgetting that the police are Government. That’s why they are using live bullets on civilians. After all, these ammunition have to be used up because they were bought right?

Helicopters are everywhere surveilling. I tune in to Citizen TV, only to see the wedding show. Bills must be paid right? Nonsense! I change the channels; NTV has the Catholic Bishops press conference. Perhaps too late to preach unity when all along you openly took political sides? We have been reduced to house captives relying on hashtags for our news. Hashtag #StopKisumuKillings

I hear more gunshots.

We are OK so long as we remain indoors right? That’s why we stocked our fridges with supplies. We anticipated this. We prepared for the violence, and then we sat in our houses and fought on social media. The irony is that our leaders, who we are seemingly fighting for, still shake hands; even though they have dissenting opinions.

The joke is on us Kenyans.

Those who go to the streets, live in the slums. Some of them are edged on by our very own hateful posts. Some of these people slept outdoors because the police teargassed their houses. Some of them are being attacked by the military in their shanties. Some of their children are being shot while in their houses. Surely, where did human dignity go to?

I grieve for my people.

Don’t get it twisted. They are not my people because I belong to a tribe. I have lived in the slum. I have family and friends in the slum. I know how things go when it gets sour.

Then I remember last night before I went to bed, my grandmother called me at 11pm, amidst all the screaming, some of jubilation, some of mourning. “Are you safe? Pray for us, things are not good here”. The police who are supposed to be protecting civilian lives are now terrorizing the very lives they are mandated to protect, even in the villages. Let people grieve in peace.

I fear for my people.

Lastly, I have seen the God card being pulled. This week I have witnessed vitriol from both sides of the political divide. Don’t pull God into your posts. My God is not party to confusion, neither is he a God of division. So please, don’t use God’s name or scripture in vain.

This post is because of the likes of the late 8 year old Stephan George from Mathare Area 2, even as CS Matiang’i calls reports of innocent deaths on social media lies. These are the criminal elements that the government is neutralizing.

We are simply dancing to an orchestra, one that comes every five years. This too shall pass. Soon we shall put our tribal cards back safely in our pockets- till next election. Just remember, the joke is on us.

Date Posted: July 20, 2017
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Lessons from rejection- Jack Ma

Rejection is never a positive word. No one wants to have a badge written reject. We all want the glamorous success at everything we do. Imagine getting rejected more than 40 times. Over the years, I have been someone who tries all avenues to better themselves. This means that I have been actively looking for opportunities to grow, financially, socially and intellectually.

To get these opportunities, you have to look for them or have someone recommend an opportunity that would benefit you. Not forgetting the job applications I have sent and interviews I have been called to. One common factor that has characterized these opportunities is rejection. In most of those applications, my email inbox is full of regret mail.

They read something like, “Due to the high number of applicants, we are sorry to tell you that you were not accepted”. Imagine trying to apply for a fellowship four years in a row and getting the same email. I am referring to Young African Leaders Initiative. Well, the very first one at least I was shortlisted and went for a face to face interview. Atlas Corps, rejected. The Moth storytelling workshop, rejected.

I don’t want to go into details of how many jobs I applied for and was called for interviews and that was it. After the interviews, I heard nothing from them. These are many. More than the fellowships and scholarships I have tried getting.

At some point, I started thinking I wasn’t good enough, there was no point trying or my favorite, ‘maybe people look at my disability and deny me opportunities thinking I am not up to the task’. The problem with such thinking is that you look externally for excuses rather than introspecting for self improvement.

What I later did was work hard to improve myself. Even the very fact that I am writing this post, means I am a work in progress, improving each day. You don’t get rejected all the time, sometimes you are really good at what you are doing and compel someone to give you a chance. People have given me chances.

The thing that spurred me to write this piece is watching the story of Jack Ma. The guy is more familiar with the word rejection than anyone else. He applied 10 times to get into Harvard and got rejected. Got rejected at 30 jobs. Tried getting to the police force and was told, ‘you’re no good’. He tried applying for a job at KFC, and was the only one who was rejected out of 24 people.

Today, Jack Ma is the richest man in China. He founded Alibaba in 1995, which is now the largest e-commerce platform. In his Forbes profile, his net worth is $35.5 B. What he learnt from rejection was that you have got to believe in your self, even if other people think your ideas are stupid.

Here is an interview of Jack Ma at Davos World Economic Forum, 2015.

Date Posted: June 23, 2017
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Dear Mr. President, Pregnancy is not contagious.

I like Tanzania’s President, John Pombe Magufuli. Mostly his corruption free style that puts things in order.

His family- the first lady- was even admitted in a public hospital- the equivalent of Kenyatta National Hospital. Wait, when was the last time we heard of a Kenyan public figure hospitalized in KNH? But that’s beside the point of this post.

Among his commendable achievements is abolishing school fees for secondary levels of education in 2015, a move that has increased school enrollment in the country. Free primary education which was implemented earlier, caused a jump in the net enrollment rate  from 59% in 2000 to 94% in 2011.

Magufuli is now of the opinion that once girls get pregnant, they should not be allowed back in school. That ‘parents’ should not be allowed to mix with school children who are serious about learning. He says that they would encourage others to follow suit in getting pregnant.

Let me simplify that. There’s a Swahili proverb that says, ‘Nazi mbovu, harabu ya nzima’- a bad coconut spoils the rest. The problem is that the one who bears the evidence of having sex, is the girl. If a girl is pregnant, either a fellow student, teacher or other male individual made her pregnant.

The ones who will be on the receiving end of his patriarchal policy would be the ones left with evidence of teenage sex. Punishing girls who get pregnant while in school will only lead to reducing the status of women and girls, when we all African countries are striving to attain the Sustainable Development Goals.

Speaking of SDG’s, he blames NGO’s for introducing foreign norms to Africa, and encouraging school children to be sexually active. He even asks NGOs to open schools for young mothers.

Mr. President, this amounts to marginalization of the girl child, considering that a girl who gets pregnant at a young age is already disadvantaged. According to WHO, many girls who become pregnant have to drop out of school. A girl with little or no education has fewer skills and opportunities to find a job.

Watch the video of his address to the public on this issue.

We would like to hear your sentiments on this matter. Do you agree with the Tanzanian president? Let’s engage in the comments.

Date Posted: May 13, 2017
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The best gift for Mothers’ Day

This mothers’ day, my special celebration goes to mothers of special needs children. They have faced all sorts of advice, opinions, judgment and even ridicule from well-meaning quarters.

Most likely, there’s no one in the world that knows special needs children as well as their mothers. No mother wants their child to have special needs. However, they are the unsung heroes who continually offer their unconditional love for these children.

When a special needs child does something out of the ordinary, it is not time for society to start judging them. Probably, this would be the time to offer your support to the family. We all have things we want to say at any time. Granted, we all have our opinions. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Sometimes, it is of great benefit to everyone if we would just hold on to our thoughts and not voice them.

Recently, our niece who was diagnosed with schizophrenia went missing. She couldn’t have chosen a worse time to pull her disappearing act. My sister had just had my nephew. The last three weeks have therefore been trying for my sister. She has had to contend with several comments to suggest that the girl may have eloped with a lover; some were asking her whether the girl really wanted to go to school and many other things that I don’t want to go into the details of.

I am not a mother currently, but I felt the emotional drain that the situation had on the new mom who happens to be my sister. Heck! I also lost sleep during this time, just thinking that I was in a cozy bed while we didn’t know where my niece was. The pressure on a mother, who’s first born goes missing, when she needs all the strength to recuperate from childbirth, gets worse. Thank goodness that the agonizing three weeks have passed. Today my niece is reunited with her family. There is no gift on mothers’ day that’s greater than the reunion with her daughter.

Luuvi Ajayi wrote the book I’m judging you-The do better manual, in which she speaks of the irksome things that people do. (It is a great read by the way). Airing opinions about situations we rarely understand could perfectly fit in the book. (You are welcome to judge me for suggesting an addition to your book.)

During these three weeks, we have also received support from all quarters. People who we would not have crossed paths with under any other circumstance. My special thanks go to Missing Child Kenya for putting up notices about missing children. I never thought of how so important your work was. Not until we actually needed your services. Thanks to everyone who re-tweeted, shared the post on social media and just asked the question, “What can I do to help?” Thank you for all those who prayed with us- your prayers availed much.

Today I celebrate that mother who has a child with Cerebral Palsy, that epileptic child, that autistic child who has been dismissed by society as hyper, that mother whose heart breaks every time her child comes home from school with a report of how a teacher carelessly told them that they were crazy. I would like to tell them that their child is unique in their own special way. After all, it is in our differences that we express beauty in the world.  Happy Mothers’ Day.