Why women wait so long to have a baby

Wissam al Mana and Janet Jackson (Photo: Getty Images)
Wissam al Mana and Janet Jackson (Photo: Getty Images)

Some time last month I shared a link to a story of a woman in her 50’s, who decided to become a mother. The story was about how the woman, despite 50+, and being HIV positive went ahead and had babies.

Now this was a public story , and I shared it without thinking of the backlash it may elicit. Perhaps it was reflecting the inherent desire of every woman to hold her own.

Conversation it did spark in opposite directions. Some were of the opinion that this woman was selfish. That she endangered the life of the children she had, and risked infecting them with HIV. They even mentioned it was the woman’s fault that one of her children was autistic.

Others defended the woman saying that no body should judge someone’s choices. We all know that every woman has a right to bear children. This would be an obvious fact. I am not about to delve into the biases that informed such opinions. Everyone is entitled to have their own opinion by the way. We can’t forget this either.

Then, there was another group with the opinion that women stay for too long without getting married, chasing careers, then realize when it’s too late that they need to have babies. They then have babies at advanced ages. Everyone has their path to tread. Even Janet Jackson just had her first baby at 50.

There are many reasons why women decide to have children at advanced ages apart from selfishness. I will outline five that are common.

  1. Climbing the career ladder is no walk in the park for women. Some have to make sacrifices to build a solid future for their children. Other brave ones like Sarah Brown, decided to have both. She was also labelled ‘Selfish’. Talk of pleasing everybody.
  2. Finding the right partner is not that easy. Some women who have value strong family bonds will not just have a baby for the sake of being called a mother. The wait sometimes is long and when they find the one, no matter how late, it’s thank God we’re pregnant.
  3. They just don’t want to be home wreckers. Proposals from married men are there in plenty. There are women who stick to the script. If they want a family so bad, why ruin another woman’s family to have their own? Karma is unforgiving.
  4. Some were spending their 20’s and 30’s trying to survive. They saw no need of bringing a life to the misery and uncertainty that the circumstances held. Now that they are comfortable, for God’s sake, let them have their babies.
  5.  Not every woman is fertile all the time. We’ve seen stories of people who got married and stayed for years without a baby. Women who have endured a lot of humiliation from family because they were thought to be barren. Then they got their miracle babies after 45, perhaps after 50. You might want to read about the world’s oldest mother who recently had a baby at the age of 70.

These examples only prove that if you wait to please everyone, you probably will end up compromising your quality of life. Every individual has their own beliefs, opinions, some of which are strong and yes! path to follow. Have a lovely pro-choice day.

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